"Did you really intend to get pregnant?" or "Was this planned?" frequently popped up when people learned my age. "Yes, indeed, down to the minute, and without any intervention," is often my reply, still to this day. I am happy to say, that with some research, effort, and timing, I was able to conceive naturally at 42 years of age.
In this photo I was embarking on my third trimester and feeling fabulous.
The Awakening
It was a sort of awakening when my husband and I reflected on our lives and realized the window of opportunity to build a family was indeed soon coming to a close. We had been together about fifteen years. We had businesses together, a home together, but not yet a family together.
My mother had always told me not to rush into building a family; that I had my whole life ahead of me; and to take my time. Well, I had been taking my time so much that she was now troubled with the possibility of never seeing grandchildren. You see, I am an only child, so the legacy weighed on me. No pressure, gah!
On the other side, my husband is from a robustly populating family, so I think he always imagined he'd have children… someday. Well someday was creeping in on no-day. We agreed, as we were both in our early forties, that we best get'r done, and so the focused strategy of baby building ensued. Fortunately, we loved and enjoyed each other (still do), so the practice part was, well, you know, enjoyable.
However, a realization, beyond our ages, did occur to us that was a little concerning. In our 15 years together, not once did we accidentally get pregnant. After a long 16 years on birth control since I was in high-school, I quit due to health risks early in our relationship (I'll save that for another story). Additionally, being together in a long term, not yet married at the time, relationship we were not using any other birth control. The possibility of getting pregnant should have been extremely high considering the fun we were having.
The beaming smile on our faces below shared our excitement as we officially went public with my pregnancy.
Step One - Build A Baby Plan
With the quest of pregnancy now in our focus, I had some scientific details to investigate. The game plan, around Step One - lots of practice of course, was to check my vitals first, then my husband's if needed thereafter. I visited my naturopath for extensive blood work to see if there were any deficiencies needing attention.
"Are you tired all the time?" my naturopath asked. "I don't have time to be tired. I’m too busy," I replied. My results came back and most of my nutrient levels were acceptable, except for one really important element for reproduction. I was seriously depleted in iron, both in circulating iron and stored iron.
A little science here: Circulating iron is primarily bound to the protein transferrin, and also flows in red blood cells as part of hemoglobin, the protein responsible for oxygen transport. Stored iron is the protein complex ferritin which contains iron in its non-toxic form, keeping it on reserve for when the body requires extra for metabolic functions. This means I should have been exhausted considering my depletion. My doctor said my exorbitant iron deficiency meant my body would save any incoming iron for my own nourishment rather than support platelet production for a new human.
I didn't know it at the time, but being predominantly vegetarian was most likely the primary culprit to my iron demise. I ate a ton of veggies and I certainly ate healthy, but I was not taking iron supplements and was unaware of my predicament. Come to find out later in life, many of the vegetables I was eating, although full of nutrients, also contain phytic acid, which binds to certain nutrients and strips them from the body, but that's yet another story.
Step Two - Nutrients
So now we had a direction for Step Two of the Build A Baby plan. Immediately, I sat there in my naturopath's clinic and soaked up an intravenous drip (IV) of iron for 45 minutes to give me a head start. Furthermore, I ordered a high dose of iron supplements, knowing they may cause stomach disruption, but I was willing to take the risk. Fortunately, my bodily happily accepted the iron supplements in conjunction with my other daily assortment of prenatal vitamins.
My naturopath alerted me that this may take months for the iron storage to rebuild within me, so be patient. Eating more red meat was certainly an option too, yet one I hesitant to embrace. I did eat chicken and fish on occasion, however, if I added a steak in the mix more regularly, I'm certain that would have sped up the process.
Here I am five days before our daughter was born. I was about to explode!
Step Three - Tracking Ovulation
Nonetheless, I was healthy, supplementing, and ready to focus on Step Three of the Build A Baby plan - tracking my ovulation. We now live in an age of smart phones, apps, and incessant tracking. I, however, along with my husband, prefer to be a little more clandestine. We did not and still do not have a "smart" house. Alexa is not listening to our every word. We turn off all the proprietary tracking on our phones when upgrades pop in or new phones are acquired.
We of course know, tracking exists on pervasive levels beyond our measure, yet, we try to control what we do have control over and reduce monitoring. In this case, as awesome and easy as period tracking/ ovulation apps are, I chose the analog version. Fortunately, we have a choice these days to utilize either resource that best fits our needs.
How did I do this? Back before the unfortunate and unhealthy ease of birth control (another story), tracking our feminine moon-time cycle was actually not cumbersome at all. It was a way a woman tuned into herself and appreciated the rhythm of her cycle and the power of her femininity. I am so grateful a friend shared Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler MPH with me which unraveled the simplicity and logic behind the process of stepping into my feminine power.
I printed out the tracking sheets which I stored at my bedside along with a pen and thermometer. Before rising in the morning, I laid in bed to check my basal body temperature, the lowest resting temperature which can be measured first thing in the morning, and logged it on the chart. I then checked my cervical fluid to see it's consistency as it changes dramatically during cycles.
Hint - in order for semen to swim to their egg destination, it's helpful for the seas of fluid to match each other between men and women creating a nice continuous river to the sacred egg. This tracking chart affords you the clarity on your exact few days of ovulation so you can either get busy or abstain depending on you pregnancy potential preferences.
Step Four - Tuning Into The Feminine
Step Four - Putting it all into practice with intention was easy to do. I was eager to make this happen since I was already 42 years old. As far as mainstream healthcare is concerned, I was classified in the geriatric pregnancy category and a high risk for complications. Fortunately, I chose and amazing midwifery team, so I would steer clear of doubt and unnecessary drama, and stay present in my sphere or natural health and wellness.
During these months of practice, assembling my iron, and harmonizing with my cycle, I also immersed my mind into Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Healing, written by the heartfelt brilliance and experience of Dr Christiane Northrup. You see, I'm of the philosophy that we are powerful beings. Given the right environment and support, there is so much we can do to uplift and assist bodies in manifesting that which we desire. I save the hospital and doctor visits for triage issues. Equally, my passion and determination drove me to do the research and create the healthy environment for my body to welcome the blessing of creating new life.
As time rolled on, I became acutely aware of the infinitesimal window of ovulation in my cycle. I gave my husband fair warning, that if we didn't take action on a certain day, and specifically in a particular part of the day, we would be waiting another entire month. Sure enough, we missed a few opportunities, not in practice, but sadly in timing.
There was this one time however, the message was received loud and clear. My husband's work lap top closed. The phone was switched off, the music on, and we got busy. As a good measure insurance policy, afterwards, I grabbed a book and stayed horizontal with a cushion supporting an upward pelvic tilt for an hour. Absolutely no potential was escaping my grand master plan.
Step Five - The Waiting Game
The waiting game! All the while continuing the daily regimen, the questioned beckoned, "Did it work?" Only time will tell. The days crept of until it was finally time for my period, which did not come!!! I had some pregnancy tests on hand and remember my excitement when I looked at the strip. Seriously, the plan truly worked!
Off to our midwifery we went to get confirmation. And so began the new journey of an amazing pregnancy with welcoming our daughter into the world in the spring of 2016 during my 43rd rotation around the sun.
Pass It On
I tell this story in reverence of the feminine power and the beauty of being connected to a woman’s natural rhythm. I had found a way to embrace my power with faith in my amazing body to do the work given the right conditions. It took patience, research, application, time, and I was able to make it happen, with of course the help, love and support of my awesome husband.
Whether you’re someone who wants to get pregnant, not get pregnant, attain best shape and health of your life, heal, or just stay naturally healthy, this is a story worth sharing. We are blessed with a magnificent gift. Sometimes we need a nudge of hope to awaken the faith that we have the capability to create our own greatness.
With love,
Brit-Simone
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So amazing to go back and reminisce on the beginnings of THE most wanted and loved and mega healthy, baby girl. I realize her daddy rose to the occasion yet the job of becoming pregnant rested heavily on your shoulders Brit-Simone and you guys DID IT!!! Giving birth to a most loving, magical, beautiful, brilliant angel. I am sooooo in gratitude that you grew up learning the power of holistic wellness, and passing it on to your glowing with health and happiness family. Congratulations 💞